My youngest daughter turns 3 in January. Both of my daughters are unique in their personalities and different in their individual view of the world. I miss my eldest girl. I havnt had the opportunity to watch her grow in to a woman and I don't even know if she is yet a woman. Information I appear to be struck off from hearing about. So before I get into the whole slanging match over this issue. I will leave it at that. As a girl, I was not coached or taught about the functions of my reproductive parts or the birds and the bees for that matter. I don't think in my youth I could have tolerated the humiliation of 'the talk' with either of my parents or my older siblings. There was one book however that was available in our primary school library. Bare in mind this was before the censorship of books and material allowed in schools. We had a year 1 to year 8 schooling system, so middle school was combined with elementary and I'm assuming this included books for their age groups. Readily available in our libraries as resources to pour over, for education purposes. I was amused as most would be, yet found it uncomfortable in thinking that a boy thing does that and our bits do this. Sex wasn't a subject I cared to know about, I was more interested in periods. Not understanding why, just thinking that girls get to wear pads in their knickers. The thought actually made me wanting to get it moreso and way ahead of my time. Girls at our school had it and I thought of them as lucky, me and weird thoughts. One time I actually thought I had, only it was dye from my underwear causing the reddened toilet paper. So disappointed. My mother was very clever at hiding her menses days. I didn't know or even once had an ounce of knowing when she was. My mother and personal hygiene were as close as close got. So I'm thinking that from a young age, my mother knew how to hide her days. When I was finally blessed at age 14, pretty much near my birthday. I had gone to a public toilet which I knew had a dispenser with feminine products and I was excited and a tad scared all in one. It was exhilarating knowing that I was finally able to use woman only products. Could you imagine how I was feeling. I wonder if at age 14, my eldest daughter has her period. I wish I could have given her a shoe box full of products and educated her on how to use them. Ways to prevent leaks and feeling confident about buying what she needed, when she needed. How to make sure she has placed her tampon in properly and the difference between applicators and non applicators. Well I've missed that boat so all I can do is dream and wait for daughter number two.
As a woman menstruating and a Māori woman at that, I placed restrictions on myself in varying situations. Just because I wore tampons, this didn't give me the okay to swim in the sea. Why? Because this is where a food source derives from and my bodily waste be it uterus, bowel or bladder is not part of the food chain. I have been taught to repect our atua Hine-moana, Hine-Marama and Tangaroa and in me it's been an acknowledgement of what they afford us humans.
The very functions that are reserved for designated locations on land and in accordance with both Tapū (sacred) and Noa (neutrality). This involves not placing your posterior, ass or buttocks on a table reserved for food & benches where food preparation takes place. In Māori custom there is no boundary crossing of either. I cringe when I see television openly exploiting this concept, which teaches our Māori youth today how acceptable it is. We are taught from ad after ad how acceptable swimming in the sea is during your period. Our customs, practices and traditions have all been disregarded to make way for a liberated, carefree woman, who compromises her identity to fit in. Their is a lack of responsibility in nurturing our sacredness, owning our bodies whole heartedly as Māori woman and encouraging our Kōtiro (girls) to mirror this same sacredness. I am fortunate that I have grown in thought to not only consider these factors, but that of the environment also. Reducing the waste in landfills and sewers, which man is readily dumping into the oceans and clogging the lands with. Introducing the Diva Cup. A cup made of rubber or latex, which acts to cup menstrual bi product instead of soaking it into a tampon or pad. This is then washed out and reinserted as needed. It aims to reduce the packaging and disposal of packaging. Cloth made pads are readily available and can be washed and re-used. Society is such a buy buy culture now, that it is compelled to buy & throw. How much more respect would our daughters have for their bodies, if they were taught to treasure it. To accept that it is a sacred temple and to look after it. Us as parents, caregivers and extended families need to baby this effect on our girls, daughters, nieces etc. Māori Whānautanga is part of who we are.
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